31 Little Life Lessons


Today I’m 31. That feels like quite a weird thing to say. No longer 29 and 17 months or any other convoluted way of trying to make myself feel/sound younger; I am however still well within the 25-34 tick box so there’s that.

I like to think that now I’m almost as old as grandmother time (I absolutely have her knees) I have a few little life lessons to fling in your general direction, like the farmer with the muck spreader in that school day song. So if you’re still with me, you’ll all get your share…

  1.  Sea air has magical powers, go spend some time in it.
  2. Good wine should always go hand in hand with good chat.
  3. Facebook’s ‘unfollow’ feature is a bloody godsend. Passive aggressors rejoice!
  4. No-one is responsible for your happiness but you.
  5. Bob is funnier than Vic.
  6. Friends come and friends go, trust in the universe to decide which ones deserve your time.
  7. A waggy dog greeting is up there with life’s greatest pleasures.
  8. We are, each and everyone of us, much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. People are built for endurance.
  9. You’re never too old for a Wham bar.
  10. Some people are just pricks and there is not a thing you can do about it.
  11. Dance anywhere you hear your jam*; for the good of your soul.
  12. Mother does know best. If you’re the mother, that means it’s you – don’t get scared now.
  13. There’s not much sexier than a man with a talent or less sexy than an arrogant git.
  14. It’s never too late to change your story (life’s story that is. If you get caught I’d suggest sticking very rigidly to your story).
  15. The fence is a shit place to sit.
  16. Tears are not a weakness.
  17. Boobs OR legs, never both.
  18. A book really is the best adventure.
  19. Always give it your all. ‘It’ is everything, anything, all the things.
  20. Your freckles are beautiful. No, you do not look like you’ve been sunbathing under a teabag…kids are mean!
  21. Freeze your leftovers for the days where you just can’t be arsed.
  22. Set aside time to do the things you love as well as the things you have to do.
  23. A snooze can make the world of difference.
  24. Heat protector spray is non-negotiable.
  25. Dress for the job/date/life that you want.
  26. Laugh as much as you can. Especially at yourself.
  27. Don’t trust a man with a ponytail. We’re talking this rather than this.
  28. Carry a notebook.
  29. A good, loud ‘BOLLOCKS’ can improve a day fourfold.
  30. Unless you’re Mother Theresa keep your judgments to yourself. Except if its a conversation under spousal privilege, in which case judge away.
  31. Have a wee before you leave.

*am I too old to discuss jams in any way other than preserves? Probably.

I’ve started off trying to vlog this odd little birthday which is turning out to be one of my most mundane to date – we did all the fun stuff in London last month and have some exciting bits and bobs coming up this week but today, not so much. I’ll be working, spinning and eating all the food. Maybe this will be the vlog that makes it. No promises though.

So whilst you’re waiting for me to find some courage, let me know if you have any ground breaking lessons I haven’t yet learnt in my 31 years.

And have a wonderful Wednesday, feel free to eat cake in my honour.

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