Not the kind of cruising I did aged 17 in a naff old Vauxhall Cavalier and some god awful hip hop, no siree, the kind of cruising requiring a big boat and a penchant for the finer things in life.
When I was 17 (going on 46) I didn’t do holidays, I did adventure and travelling and experiences maaaaan. Cramming as much exploration as was humanly possible into every second of every day away, stretching my brain and diluting the small town effect of South Devon for another year. It wasn’t a real trip without a catastrophe or two: like that time I was stranded at the Egyptian/Israeli border with only a Bedouin taxi driver for company (he drove with his knees FOR 250 KILOMETERS, that was novel) or the time I didn’t get the right visas for an Eastern European inter-rail journey and had to spend 36 hours trapped in one train car with a blocked toilet and a whole load of cranky passport checkers. With guns. Aaah good times.
We’ve had our fair share of married adventures too. Those breaks where we’ve just packed up the car and headed off, we’ve been chucked off boats in the middle of the deepest oceans to dive with big beasts, we’ve even spent a weekend in a caravan in Okehampton.
But, and I can’t believe I’m about to say it, you get to a stage in life when a hair raising adventure is no longer top of your list, when the thought of arriving in an unknown city without bookings and carrying your worldly possessions on your back is enough to induce a cold sweat. I suspect that time comes when you’re trying to run a home and a life and a career with some semblance of success every day. In short, when you’re so very busy trying to adult it seems ludicrous not to seek some peace and relaxation from your hard earned holidays.
Between career changes and house moves we haven’t had a real holiday for a few years.
So we booked a cruise.
I was really frigging horrified when we booked it, like shall we also pre-order our coffins too? As it gets closer though, I think I might be excited. Just because I don’t fancy the unbridled adventure of being stranded penniless in unknown lands it doesn’t mean I don’t want to explore the bits of the world I haven’t yet seen. There are plenty of other ways to do that, granted but right now, this year, I choose to see the world from the comfort of a fancy floating hotel. One in which I can relax my butt off -from a balcony cabin watching new and unexplored lands creep up on us every morning.
I’m excited to wake up in a different place each day and to wander unfamiliar streets without carting a 20kg backpack around, to ditch the crowds in favour of a less well trodden path. All the while knowing there’s unlimited martini and roughly four hundred floating restaurants waiting for me back on the boat. Calling it a boat feels woefully understated.
It’s sort of like a ridiculously grown up adventure isn’t it? ISN’T IT?
And, if it does turn out to be all of the kinds of horrific that have crossed my mind , I suppose 24 hour room service and unlimited cocktails will ease the pain.
Cruising – would you? Have you? Are you judging me a bit right now?
I’ll tell you more about the cruise if you want to, let me know.