So, Your Friend Is Having A Baby…

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Gather in close, I’ll tell you a secret: I’m a dog person.

It’s ok, you weren’t to know. I mean, I don’t necessarily prefer dogs to humans (I totally do and said exactly that in the past), human babies just make me a bit awkward. In a cruel twist of fate I’m also at an age – shut your face – when a huge swathe, that’s right: swathe, of my friends are popping them out like there’s no tomorrow. No matter how Brexit we get folks, it is not the end of days. You really don’t need to repopulate the earth single handedly. I digress.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore your babies, truly I do. They smell incredible and they’re full of eternal optimistic wonderment, I’m just not all that good at the teeny tiny ones. Once they hit toddlerdom I’m your woman: I have imagination in abundance and time to waste playing any game they want for as long as they want to. That’s the time to call me, when you need a break.  Up until that point though I’m utterly shambolic.

I’m the woman who was late to a baby shower last year because she met an Alsatian puppy. THAT’S who I am.

I also may be the woman who, in the absence of inspiration, brought Domino’s pizza to a bring and share baby shower tea party. The other (read: better) women rocked up with their blue and pink cupcakes and cutsie baby shaped sarnies. Someone even made devilled eggs. Devilled eggs. They were divine! I turned up laden down with a two for Tuesday and a side of chicken kickers. I’d be more ashamed but I sort of won at that baby shower.

For the same friend’s second baby shower I learnt my lesson and arrived with some ‘homemade’ scones…the plastic wrappers stayed in my car boot for three months.

Anyhoo, the good folk at George don’t want to you to be like me. Spurred on by the not so random internet habits of women clearly struggling with their preggers friends, they’ve come up with this handy guide on how to be a good baby mama friend. Is that a thing? Can I get away with saying ‘baby mama’? I don’t think I can.

They’ve thought of everything you could possibly need to be the best buddy you can be right through the first year of your mates’ motherhood: from conception (no more swift halves after work), through finding the perfect pre and post partum gift, to totes nailing the baby shower. All the way up until the little tyke gets more interesting and less…breakable. You know, when you can hand them a box of matches and send them off to the shop for you. Jokes.

Basically it’s got everything you need not to be me. Use it. Love it. Thank me later.

So, you and babies? Are you any good? Do you give good gift? Are you a socially awkward llama like moi?


This post was written in collaboration with George but any need for assistance on being a better human being is all my own. 

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  • This was so fun to read! I totally agree about babies! I think they’re great…like when they can run around and sort of talk and point at things it’s so much fun! Other than that, yea can’t really do it. Dogs are so great at any age though 🙂
    x Kenzie // Kenzieblogslife.blogspot.com

  • Emma Fisher

    I like to be the friend who you can chat to about your none-baby life in my baby wielding friends lives because, and here’s another shocker for you, I too, am a dog person – I’m just not that into really small
    people and I am not the person to chat to about your birthing story. I mean, I’ve only just started liking our nephew now he’s 9months old and trying to walk……

    But I’m also the person who, if spammed with baby photos will spam you back with puppy photos so maybe I do need some guidance on my behaviour around these new mums (* please never say mama again, please) because a photo of my dog in response to their new born *might* not be what they are looking for! x

  • I have a baby and I’m still clueless about present giving. I’ve never even BEEN to a baby shower – is that a thing in the UK? Can you really have more than one?! I’m now resenting all the spoiling I did not get.

  • I love babies and am OK at present giving. I’ve never been to a baby shower though but I think me and my friends are still a little young.

    http://lizziedailyblog.blogspot.com

  • Ah, I’m with you on the dogs vs babies. I find baby showers incredibly intimidating – they’re just not my thing… maybe they would be if more people turned up with Dominoes!

  • Anya Johnson

    To be fair, Alsatian puppies might just the cutest things imaginable – I’m totally clucky for one of them in my life again! I must say that while I do want kids I’m definitely more clued up on the dog front… and my future Alsatian baby is going to be just as loved as my future human baby!

  • I’m so glad I’m not the only one who doesn’t like babies/kids. I had a dream recently that one of my besties had a baby and didn’t tell me so when i turned up one day for a doggy play date and discovered she’d got a baby, I told her we couldn’t be friends anymore!!
    I quite like my friends’ kids but it’s nice to give them back after a short while haha!! xxx
    PS talking of play dates…. we need to go exploring (read: drinking cider and playing with the dogs)

  • Wonderful post, this made me chuckle and rang so true. If anyone looses me in a department store you can guarantee that ill be swooning over dog toys and collars instead of booties and baby blankets.
    x
    p.s super cute spaniel

  • Are baby showers a thing now? Can I retrospectively demand gifts from all my friends for popping out a sprog? I love babies but I have no intention of having more than one. I’m quite happy to fuss over a baby and offer up cuddles but I’m equally happy to fuss over puppies! The only difference is that I’ll have to neck a bottle of piriton after the dogs!! Stupid allergies!

  • I am 100% awful at babies. They are cute – I can see that – but I don’t necessarily want to hold them, or talk about them all the time or ever have to be responsible for them. I mean, like you say, puppies are way better.

    Alice | Whiskey Jars Blog

  • This is such a cute post and that guide is brilliant! A few of my friends have already had their first babies and they are incredibly adorable. Like you, I love animals and if the opportunity to meet a little Alsatian puppy came up before a baby shower, I would be late too, but I am a sucker for babies and I don’t know if that’s a hint I’m already getting broody at 25, but I think for me personally babies are a long way off in the future for now so this made me chuckle, and I am sure I can make use of this guide in the meantime! 😀 – Tasha

  • Ummm pizza for a baby shower! You are the perfect friend!

    K.

  • Babies = No.

    Well, anything human is a bit of a no to be honest.

    I just don’t get babies or children. Not even a little bit. I’m always the weird person that refuses to acknowledge their presence and just leaves the room…

  • Katie

    I am TERRIBLE with babies. My friend asked me to look after her three month old for AN HOUR t’other day. The baby was fine- I was the one nearly in tears. I spent most of the time looking at her in horror and asking questions like “Who was your favourite act in Eurovision?” xxx P.S. You are queen of Baby Shower buffets. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.

  • Haha, I am terrified of babies and small children – basically anywhere up to the age of 10 and I am guaranteed to be incredibly socially awkward! Hopefully one day the small people and I will gel a bit better (especially when I have my own, or that could be rather awkward…). But until then, dogs win out every time.
    I would also definitey be the one who was late to a baby shower (or anything, really) because I met an Alsatian puppy on the way. And pizza to a baby shower? Winning at life.

  • I still feel remarkably awkward around babies, which I realise might need to change rather sharpish! I have managed to avoid baby showers so far, but do think a new puppy party would be a much better social occasion!

  • Alanna

    socially awkward llama and wouldn’t have it any other way.