Gather in close, I’ll tell you a secret: I’m a dog person.
It’s ok, you weren’t to know. I mean, I don’t necessarily prefer dogs to humans (I totally do and said exactly that in the past), human babies just make me a bit awkward. In a cruel twist of fate I’m also at an age – shut your face – when a huge swathe, that’s right: swathe, of my friends are popping them out like there’s no tomorrow. No matter how Brexit we get folks, it is not the end of days. You really don’t need to repopulate the earth single handedly. I digress.
Don’t get me wrong, I adore your babies, truly I do. They smell incredible and they’re full of eternal optimistic wonderment, I’m just not all that good at the teeny tiny ones. Once they hit toddlerdom I’m your woman: I have imagination in abundance and time to waste playing any game they want for as long as they want to. That’s the time to call me, when you need a break. Up until that point though I’m utterly shambolic.
I’m the woman who was late to a baby shower last year because she met an Alsatian puppy. THAT’S who I am.
I also may be the woman who, in the absence of inspiration, brought Domino’s pizza to a bring and share baby shower tea party. The other (read: better) women rocked up with their blue and pink cupcakes and cutsie baby shaped sarnies. Someone even made devilled eggs. Devilled eggs. They were divine! I turned up laden down with a two for Tuesday and a side of chicken kickers. I’d be more ashamed but I sort of won at that baby shower.
For the same friend’s second baby shower I learnt my lesson and arrived with some ‘homemade’ scones…the plastic wrappers stayed in my car boot for three months.
Anyhoo, the good folk at George don’t want to you to be like me. Spurred on by the not so random internet habits of women clearly struggling with their preggers friends, they’ve come up with this handy guide on how to be a good baby mama friend. Is that a thing? Can I get away with saying ‘baby mama’? I don’t think I can.
They’ve thought of everything you could possibly need to be the best buddy you can be right through the first year of your mates’ motherhood: from conception (no more swift halves after work), through finding the perfect pre and post partum gift, to totes nailing the baby shower. All the way up until the little tyke gets more interesting and less…breakable. You know, when you can hand them a box of matches and send them off to the shop for you. Jokes.
Basically it’s got everything you need not to be me. Use it. Love it. Thank me later.
So, you and babies? Are you any good? Do you give good gift? Are you a socially awkward llama like moi?
This post was written in collaboration with George but any need for assistance on being a better human being is all my own.