Little Acts of Self-Love

self-loveMinds out of the gutter, we’re talking souls.

I read a precis of a book a looooooong time ago, I didn’t read the book because Terri Hatcher wrote it and I couldn’t be seen in public with that shite. The idea of it resonated with me though: the piece I read talked about how she would burn her toast (accidentally I presume unless she’s also a sadist) and then sit and eat the burnt toast because she didn’t care enough about herself to go make fresh toast. I don’t have quite that degree of self-loathing but I do find myself thinking back to that burnt toast when I do something similar, today it was when I used a coffee spoon to stir my tea. Why didn’t I get a new spoon out? I don’t know, there was a whole drawer full. I don’t particularly like my tea tinged with coffee, there was no valid reason not to get a fresh spoon I was just in a bit of a rush and didn’t give my tea drinking experience a second thought. In fact, it’s so ridiculous that I have a chopstick on my desk. A chopstick I use to pull my hair back when I’m concentrating. It’s there for that sole purpose and yet it gives me a headache every single time I use it. There’s a part of me that feels like a bit of a pillock confessing that. What moron doesn’t make time to find a hair bobble to stop herself getting a headache? This one *points thumb at self*

Why are we all too damn busy to care about ourselves? I’ve included you in this too, my soul won’t let me believe I’m alone in it.

I have a stupid busy life, full of first world problems and too much (literal) dog poo for one woman to handle. From the second I wake to the instant I drop off to sleep – the first, second…tenth time – I am going. Moving. Rushing. Doing. I give myself far too little attention during that time. I shovel meals in stood over the sink so that I can move onto the next thing, I don’t take enough time away from the desk to stretch my body out and regain some equilibrium, I don’t spend enough time savouring that first soul restoring cup of tea in the morning. I just…go. All day long. Every single day.

Is that anyone’s dream?

Of course it isn’t. It’s not rocket science and I bet you’re the same but I don’t give myself enough kindness. What I give myself are headaches.

But I’m the only me I’ve got, so shouldn’t I be trying harder? Shouldn’t we all? Not necessarily in some kind of radical way, just in a making life just a tiny bit nicer way.  My life definitely has too few of those little acts of self-love that make me feel that I’m not my own worst enemy, the teeny tiny things that make me feel more Maria on the hillside and less Eeyore on a downer. I need better pop culture references, I know this.

My first act of un-radical self-love is to ditch that effing chopstick.

Are you good at being kind to yourself? Teach me all you know.

Never Stick To What You Know
How to Have a Better Day Than the one You're Having
  • I relate to this on sooo many levels. Like I need to stretch more as I literally sit on my bum all day in front of a computer. When I do stretch it’s it makes me feel SO much better so why on earth am I not doing it everyday?! Maybe I need a little lesson in self-love too! xx

  • Sam

    Thanks for sharing examples of your self neglect with us !! I also relate massively. I recently hunched over a laptop working with no break for so long that I became stuck in that position….couldn’t turn my head for 2 weeks. This weekend I was back there again, typing furiously….6 hours later my 13 year old son (who has much more self awareness than I’ll ever have) came to bring me chocolate and tell me how bad it is for me to work so long with no break. So, yes please, help needed…I’d really like to master self care for myself, routinely !

  • Oh man, this is me all over. I will use the stupid coffee spoon in my tea and it’s almost like I purposefully don’t leave myself enough time for a proper lunch, then eat a shitty little muesli bar and crushed packet of chips just to make myself feel even worse about myself. I don’t know what’s wrong with me sometimes. I deserve better and so do you.

  • This is SO true! Although to be honest I do at least rinse the spoon between drinks. I think we can all be a little guilty of taking little shortcuts which don’t do anything for our souls. I’m starting to make a conscious effort to put more time into doing nicer things for myself.

    Thanks for the food for thought! S x

  • Lisa and Stella

    I don’t rinse the spoon…why don’t I even rinse the spoon?! I don’t hate myself! Seriously though, we should all love ourselves more, especially you xx

  • Damn, I don’t remake the toast… I do rinse the spoon thought. Thank you for your blogpost! It made me think of all little things that I do which actually make me feel worse.

  • Cat

    Dude, it’s like you’ve peeped into my brain. Must stop all of this now… Thank you for the wake up call! C xx

  • I love this post so much, it’s such an important thing that we take a bit of time to prioritise ourselves on occasion. I couldn’t just comment in response so I have written a blog post to get my thoughts on this down!

  • Oh Michelle…I can’t even tell you how much I identify with this post and the burnt toast analogy. I will actually eat a full meal I’ve made even if I can’t stand the taste when I try it. One thing that I asked my best friend once, and it kind of stuck with me. When you speak horribly to yourself, when you put yourself down and tear yourself a part in regards to looks, fitness, guilt for not doing everything you feel you should, would you say those things to your best friend? To a friend? To a colleague? To a randomer you met in the street? No? Then why oh why is it ok to say it to yourself?

    Probably should keep that in mind for myself to be fair…hmm…
    Have a beautiful Friday love xx

  • Em

    YES! This. Until recently I was so guilty of this. I was eating lunch hunched over my desk, having toast for dinner because I had SO-MUSC-STUFF-TO-DO, worrying the dogs weren’t getting long enough walks and saying yes to everything.

    And whilst I suggest you steer clear of the reason I have slowed down, having my op, and being stuck at my parents for a while with nothing to do and nowhere to go (they took my car keys away from me!) was, in a way, good for me. I sat in the garden. I took photos. I chatted to my dad. I read books. I re-read the life changing magic of not giving a fuck. And this time I took it in! I didn’t take baths because they are a waste of time. And I have started saying no to things I can’t be bothered to do because I don’t have the time. Bliss!