So long 2015

DSC_0438So long 2015, you’ve not been my favourite. You had your good bits sure, like that time I got my first fan mail or that time I collected an award with my dress undone (the important bit being the award as opposed to the inadvertent public nudity). And remember that heatwave we had when the country lost its shit for a day? Aaah the heatwave times. I started writing my column this year too, an unexpected but delicious treat. Rather unsurprisingly the most popular one has been this one in which I confess to being a shambolic mess.  Shadenfreude wins, always.

In other news: a teenager went to uni and loved it, the new career challenged me every single day and the council said we could turn our garage into…not a garage.

But 2015 has had real crushing lows. Globally, the refugee crisis caused many of us to question humanity (it bloody well should have done) and the events in Paris hurt all of us and I think highlighted the disparity in reporting terrorist attacks across the world. Must do better planet earth, try harder next year.

My heart has broken too this year.  In 2015 I inexplicably lost a good friend, she died at 31 whilst having her baby. 31 years old.

We also lost my brand new neice, who was so keen to join our family she came too soon and just didn’t make it.

I don’t share those things to be glib – simply put both S and teeny tiny A were huge parts of 2015 and each took whopping chunks of my heart with them this year. They’ll stay here in 2015 forever.

Sometimes the universe does strange, unimaginably horrible things; things that make you feel the futility of The Struggle in every nerve of your body. But sandwiched between the hideous bits are glimmers of hope, moments of joy, slivers of happiness – thank you 2015 for throwing enough of those in my general direction this year that it doesn’t feel like a write off.

And thank YOU to each and every one of you reading this, in one way or another you’ve contributed to the happy little slivers of this year and I’m ridiculously grateful.

Wishing you a 2016 filled with more happy bits than you can handle. Too much happy should always be the goal.

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  • Oh no I’m so sorry to hear about your losses, thoughts are with you!
    I also appreciate how you’ve acknowledged the news/terror that the world has been through this year – read plenty of 2015 reflection posts this week and not one has mentioned it.
    I sincerely hope 2016 sees more positivity!

    Anna
    http://thecornishlife.co.uk

  • reneejessome

    Oh my, so so sorry for your losses! I have to say, it actually just terrified me reading that seeing as im currently pregnant and dying during childbirth has always been an irrational fear of mine. I hope 2016 is much, much better for you and brings you so much happiness! xx

    Renee | Lose the Road

  • So sorry to hear about your losses!

    Lizzie Dripping

  • Life has an uncanny habit of throwing the worst things imaginable at us, both directly and indirectly. But somewhere along the way there are glimmers of hope and happiness which shatter the gloom and make it all worth the pain, and I hope you’ve managed to find those.

    On a more positive note, your blog is amazing and never fails to make me laugh. Thank you for being one of my favourite things to read on the internet this year! I wish you a very happy 2016!

    Sophie 🙂

  • I am so sad to hear of your friend and your tiny niece. It’s easy to forget in our (relatively) safe little western world that childbirth is still a very risky thing.
    I’m sure I’m rather unpopular with my expectant-mother friends when I give them my “Don’t afraid to ask questions/be fierce/if you think something is wrong, holler it from the rooftops” pep talk but it’s all true.
    I am very glad you can still see the happy slivers though.
    Happy new year lovely one.

  • Kenzie

    I’m so sorry about your friend and your niece, I hope that this new year brings some really great things for you! x

  • So sorry for the awful parts of the year, and glad you had some good stuff to filter through the cracks. Thank you for all the writing this year, I always look forward to your posts, and it has been lovely to get to know you! Wishing more happy than you know what to do with xx

  • Thanks Anna, the world was a weird old place last year!
    Happy new year to you.
    M x

  • Oh god, I hope I haven’t made you utterly petrified! It’s incredibly rare.
    Happy new year to you Renee, sending you much luck and happiness for this year!
    M x

  • Thank you Lizzie, I really appreciate that.
    M x

  • That comment is UTTERLY lovely and really made my day! Thanks Sophie, for providing a pretty big glimmer of loveliness in the gloom.
    M x

  • Thanks lovely Nicole and a very merry new year to you too.
    Wishing you all kinds of wonderful for 2016.
    M x

  • Thank you Kenzie, that’s really lovely.
    Happy new year to you, I hope yours is filled with all kind of brilliant things.
    M x

  • Thanks Katie, very much indeed.
    Awesome getting to know you too, it’s a lovely little friendly world this! Sending some happy your way too.
    M x

  • Sarah by the Sea

    What a beautifully put post. Bittersweet but utterly raw and resonating.
    Your optimism is illuminating and I am most sorry for your hardships and losses this year.
    I wish you all the happiness for 2016, although as you’ve already touched upon, no year goes without its struggles and certainly some are darker than others. Let’s hope this year is filled with light and positivity and our dear earth and its people are more loving and gracious to each other. I don’t think my heart can bear any more news on acts of terrorism 🙁 I don’t think anyone can. I cross my fingers for the environment too, Mother earth is already so badly scarred.
    I hope many beautiful adventures await you 🙂

    Sarah xxo | thesaltyseablog.blogspot.co.uk