Thoughts From My First Park Run

wonderful wednesday forty nineI wrote this a few weeks ago and thank Nike I’ve improved A LOT since that first trot. I do still wonder what the hell I need to do to stop being lapped by toddlers though.


Park Running, the brain child of some sadist who wants to get people up and moving. Every Saturday morning, up and down the country, runners of all abilities are gathering to, well, run. It’s all free, manned by (occasionally militant ‘GO ROUND THE CONE!’) volunteers, just rock up in your trainers and tackle five kilometres. You can challenge yourself, download a personal barcode so that you can track your time and hopefully your improvement each time you run. As a formerly alright runner who thought she might have another go, I was hopeful I could kick ass. I was wrong.

And we’re off.

Suspect I might have become Paula Radcliff in my running hiatus, without the roadside loo stops. Imma nail this.

Holy shit, why are there so many people here? What are they doing? Are those….are those CHILDREN?

Why did I bring four litres of water?

MY HIPS.

Ok, this is fine. I can do this. I’ve done like 4k already right? *my friend: we’ve done 200m*

Oooh, a dog. I wonder if he likes me.

Must. Overtake. Small. Child.

What do I do with my barcode? Shall I just….in the sports bra? Yeah, it’ll be safe there. Is that…is that a poop bag? (yes, yes it was a poop bag).

Hope I don’t see anyone I kn…oh haaaai EVERYONE I KNOW.

How cheery are these volunteers? Hey volunteers, why you so cheery?

WHY IS THAT KID PASSING ME AGAIN?

Seriously though, the hips.

Wait….is that….why is there a guy with a camera? No good can ever come of that.

WHAT THE HELL IS CAMERA GUY DOING ON THE FLOOR? Cool angle bro. (No good did come of that).

It’s the end. I see the end. Can I overtake this wonderful old lady?? Nope.

Man, is that some creepy heavy breathing. Oh, it’s me.

And I’m spent.

I loved my first park run, I’ll definitely be back for more. There’s something ‘all in it together’ about the whole thing, there were around 300 runners at our local event. It’s also portable, wherever you are in the land, if you’ve got your barcode you can get involved with a nearby run to track your time and progress. NB you can get involved without the barcode, you just won’t be able to get your time logged.

Running – do you?

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