Wonderful Wednesday Forty Two

img_5706So…it feels glib discussing nipple tassels and being an embarrassing parent (read on) when a massive faux haired misogynistic narcissistic fascist will now have access to America’s nuclear codes but I’ve written it so here you go. Also, I don’t feel I can discuss what America have just done with any cohesion until the red mist lifts. Really though?? REALLY??

When I should have been writing this up last week my snotty little face was asleep in the middle of a spaniel sandwich on the kitchen floor. Right in front of the radiator. The husband had made me one of his famous hot toddies: cup of brandy, glug of honey, show it a few grains of lemsip. It’s mainly brandy though. It was glorious but it completely floored me. Apparently literally.

I felt so icky the rest of the week that I just stopped everything.  I didn’t read anything (sorry), I didn’t write anything, I just didn’t DO anything. This latest cold has zapped every last drop of my energy.  I was a weird empty husk of a human, like a balloon that’s been unceremoniously popped and is slowly oozing stale germy breath into the atmosphere.

And on that sexiest of images, here’s a double whammy of Wonderful Wednesday. Strap yourselves in, it’s a biggie.

Two words: Nipple tassels. One more word: zombie. Put ‘em together and you get… yep. I went to a Halloween burlesque show and saw a zombie shaking her stuff. Kinky and Quirky put on shows across South Devon through the year, bringing some pretty awesome acts to our tiny little corner of the world. If you’re in my neck of the woods and you get a chance then get yourself to one of their events stat.

Freshly cut grass. Not the smell, although that is always a delight. Nope. They’ve cut the grass in the fields near our house, you know who loves cut grass? Spaniels do. All I’ve seen for the last few days are spaniel butts as they go shoulder deep into the mulch seeing what they can find. They’re beside themselves and it’s adorable.

Embarrassing Parent Klaxon. One of life’s purest pleasures has to be invoking embarrassing parent status. The first time I ever brought a boy home my mum delivered donuts to my bedroom door on a heart shaped bit of kitchen roll singing Donny Osmond I think. Horrific. This week K brought a new boyfriend home, cue a family howl-off. That’s right, actual howling. Oh how we laughed. I’ll be honest though, he was disappointingly un-phased, he might be a good ‘un. Now, how to crank it up a notch? I once came back from the pub with a boyfriend to find his parents legging it naked up the stairs, that would be too far…wouldn’t it?


Ladies Day. My mamma, my grandmamma and I went shopping, just the three of us, for the first time in….maybe forever. It was so nice to hang out with my ladies, glimpsing my future left right and centre. We only mooched about John Lewis and stopped for a Carluccio’s but it was awesome just to spend time with them, they’re both pretty spectacular women and if I end up being even half of one of them I’ll be doing ok.  Turns out they’re really good company too.

ALL THE AUTUMN Husband and I wrapped up warm and went a mooching on Sunday to Parke. I’ve talked a lot about how much I love Parke, a National Trust place just up the road in Bovey Tracey, the walks around the woodland are just ridiculously beautiful.  Sunday was no exception. We arrived at peak autumn when the leaves were whipping off the trees and dancing around us continuously. We stomped and waded and kicked and chucked our way through the leaves, I may have whirled about a la Edward Scissorhands, I may also have eaten a pasty the size of my head.img_5709

Exams I passed another one. Ask me anything about anything, I officially know it all. On that same day I also realised that I still know every single word to TLC’s No Scrubs, including the rap. I was simultaneously overjoyed and devastated: imagine the things I could learn if my brain wasn’t stuck in 1999. Still, good day to be me.

Heading South With the amount of seaside spam I produce, you’d be forgiven for thinking that I live as far south as a human can. But nope, we headed even further south on Friday night for a shindig in Thurlestone, one of those picturesque little villages right on the sea. The night was a hoot, the hotel not too shabby and I strolled down to the completely deserted beach on Saturday morning to blow away the hangover.

And that’s your lot. How’s your week? Tell me good bits?

Sally‘s brain made Wonderful Wednesday but this little bunch is growing all the time, go visit these wonder women Kate, Helen, JoCatEmma, Sam, LauraKerri, Peta , Sarah, ElJasmin  and Mimmi they’re all full of the cheer. 

Let us know if you decide to join in, there’s a hashtag and everything #wonderfulwednesday

All the happy. 

Wonderful Wednesday Forty Three
Wonderful Wednesday Forty-One
  • reneejessome

    haha zombies and nipple tassels! Sounds like an interesting mix!

    Renee | Life After Lux

  • Congrats on passing the exam!! Congrats on retaining valuable 1999 lyrical knowledge too.

    Congrats on those gorgeous Autumn colours too (damn, I almost slipped up and wrote “fall”…).

    Congrats on the nipple tassels.

    Congrats all around.

  • Helen

    A pasty the size of your head? Think I could do with one of those 🙂

  • Helen

    And I know the whole rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel Air – but then again, what 90s child doesn’t?

  • Ugh being ill is the worst, glad you are over it now! Congrats on the exam, I know how much of a pain studying is while working so awesome work!!

  • Jo

    Oh your writing never fails to crack a giggle. Loved the naked parent story, SO go for it! Got to give the youngsters some of their own tales to tell when older right? And exams one, congrats, but also chuckle… wow, I do wonder what my own brain could be capable of without all the Disney lyrics and dialogue to the movie mermaids stuck up there (lol, who am i kidding! there’s endless space up here… hehe!) x

  • Oh how I giggled to you knowing all the lyrics to No Scrubs plus the rap, I feel your pain, I really do. Why is it we remember song lyrics so easily but plenty of other things just fall out of our head?

    Congrats on passing another exam, you are killing this change of career business and I am really proud of you internet friend! S x

  • I’m glad you still posted this, I think we all need some light relief right now! I had a right giggle at the naked parents story, so awky but too funny! Congrats on passing your exam too, ya clever thang x

    Sick Chick Chic

  • Emma Fisher

    Congratulations ont he exam pass. You are a studying machine. But now I know I know all the lyrics to no scrubs too. I can still remember how to sing the words to Take That’s ‘Love aint here anymore’ in spanish. I can’t remember the years of french i learnt and I never even took spanish. WTF brain!

    And i have a friend with a 15 year old son – she tells me tales weekly of her latest embarrassings of him (the best recent one was telling him he was not to watch The Ring, then ghost calling him when he did). I think maybe you ought to make it a regular feature of these posts. Ok?

    And more spaniel butt please! x

  • Cat

    Heaps of congratulations on passing another exam – wonderful news! Good to have you back and feeling fiiiine again, Wonderful Wednesdays just aren’t the same without your wonderful witterings ;D xx